i dont know how should i blog..
anyway,
i guess its time for me to REALLY settle down and sort out my feelings.
i had never feel great ever since the camp.
this is how i am feeling now.
all thanks to Joanne, with not i swear i will never know.

why is the whole world had been saying me.
i think i shall isolate from you people for the time being.
i know i need support, but i dont know who to look for.
i know i need support, but i dont know what had happened.
i'm not prepared for alot of things.
its true that things are all coming at once and i dont know where to start solving from.
everything from my perspective seems to be against me.
no one actually understand my stand.
its kind of a mixed feeling.
i dont even know how to put it in words to share it with people out there.
i dont even know how to help myself whats more you guys.
to me, now is simply like,
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME !

after i got these,
i told a number of people.
two had it before.
one went to look for the school councilor.
i think i shall just slowly, give myself a break and pen down whatever i am feeling.
will it be better in that way ?

i'm sorry friends, i really dont know how to face you guys now.
i think i only can face a few people now.
im done with all my tears,
im done with being hyper.
its time for me to sit down in my own room at my own table and jot down every problem i'm facing and hope to have a solution.
please do not say that im cold-blooded by not being sad and all.
i have feelings too.
im feeling the same way as you do.
please kind of understand my situation before making any comment.
i hope i can stay strong and continue walking.

these few days,
i'm glad to have..
JMO, Cedric, Joanne &Stella by my side and being 24/7 friend.
i really appreciate what you guys had done for me(:
without them, i really dont know what will i be.

i seriously need 50K now ! SIGH )':