its like 4:47 am NOW !!! and i'm still here.
anyway,
had a chat with Jervin.
its kind of sad ?
i guess i had just been hiding my feelings all these while ?
i think i still cant let it go ?

after knowing you like someone elses and she's more important then me,
im really..
its just like a second impact to me.
i guess this time is really the lowest peak in my life.
i dont know what to do,
i didnt know who to turn to.
can i tell you that i actually still love you while you are chatting with that girl?
i think im just a BITCH man !
had been crying.
crying alot !!
the strong girl is gone.
it had been days when she's gone.
i bet i still love you so ?
or is it the memories that is pulling me back ?
i was once the girl you love most,
i was once the girl you pampered most,
i was once the girl you will think of most, especially seeing winnie the pooh.
but its all "i was once.."
in your life,
no more winnie the pooh,
no more JANICE LAM HONG YING,
this going up to a 2years relationship had went into the drain.
i couldn't believe its happening.
i'm speechless(really suck thumb).
i lost this important pillar,
this pillar that had been behind me for 2years is gone.
the man behind this strong woman is gone, can she survive ? *WONDERING !*
do you really like that girl ?
or is it a infactuation ?
i'm seriously jealous over that girl - I SWEAR !
she got what i couldn't get and what i wanted it for long.
i couldn't grab hold onto it anymore.
it seems so difficult.

you had never spend christmas or the eve with me before,
but you are going with that girl later.
you have not given me any puzzle just yet but you made it for that girl.
i dont know how to respond you,
i'm feeling so... i dont know how should i say this feeling.
is that girl really the right one ?
is she up to your standard ?
is she really the one that you can be with ?
can i really hand this important role of taking care of you to her ?
is she really capable of doing it ?
i'm serious wondering.
could you tell me what should i do or say ?
i dont know what to do, seriously and really !!!

" are you holding back, like the way i do.
cause i'm trying trying to walk away,
and i know this crush aren't going away"
actually, i still like you (:
take good care of yourself.
im wishing you well baby.
last time,
baby, i love you <3