just a simple few texts made me felt astonish and pondering why.
was in deep thought and questioning myself with lots of questions.
wasn't as sure as it was; losing confidence in myself.
wasn't assure about anything but the certainty of not prepared is high.
didn't know what to do, just knowing i will need to do something about it.
maybe i really don't deserve to hold such a high post and having such a high responsibility?

gave myself a "time-out" for 10 minutes.
dare not place it at the first priority in my mind or rather not even at the back of my mind.
throwing aside do help, but just for now.
sooner or later, i will still have to face it.

i thought there will be words of encouragement from you.
i thought all the thought that didn't happen.
and well,
we ended up to be in "cold" war?
i was remorse about telling you everything.
i know i shouldn't cry over spilt milk, since i said it out, i will have to face it through.
i really don't want things in between us to become awkward.

is there really a crack?
is it really not as perfect as i thought i was?
is it really me that is being wildful?
i really don't wish to know.
what you said strikes my heart,
really painful.
i stared blankly in front of my desktop and tears started flowing down my cheek instantly.
i thought it was just that perfect, nice and sweet.
i thought i had been understanding and nice enough, true?
in all my r/s, this is the best.
i had been in my best in this cause i know this r/s will work out well.
i can see future, how about you?
will this crack stay? i hope not.
i know its my attitude that spoilt it all,
i am sorry dear.

i just hope that our love will be as simple as ABC and nothing else.
i love you dear. <3